I was reading over a meditation set designed to bring light to someone who lives in loneliness and darkness.
At the time, I was playing some pleasant music and mentally drifting, just kind of relaxing after numerous hours spend wrestling with various MicroSoft products in one form or the other, surfing the web and following without much thought from link to link.
And there was this meditation, and I read it and as soon as I did, such a person came right to my mind and instantly and without any further doing on my part, I send them a ray of light into the shadows amongst which they dwelled.
However, rather than a good response and a nice feeling as such exercises are expected to produce, the intended recipient responded very much like a vampire when the curtains have been drawn on a sunny day - they raised their arms to protect themselves from the white light and where it "hit" them, it caused them excruciating agony and instant radiation burn.
Startled, I sat up straighter in my chair, shut off the love light with haste and considered the situation.
As I did, the process that had started in my mind took on its own life and had me walk lightlessly into the deep shadow where the recipient of my good works lay writhing in agony. I cautiously applied some cooling, soothing and healing and extended my heartfelt apologies which were accepted quite graciously, given all the circumstances.
But still, here we were and once I was to leave, the person would be all alone in the darkness once more and I did want to express my regard for them in some way, do *something* for them before I went back.
Quite without me doing anything other than desiring to do something, a tiny star appeared, small enough to fit into the palm of my hand easily. It wasn't white either, but softly shone in muted rainbow colours. I offered the tiny star to the person and they could look upon it without its light hurting their sensitive eyes, and they thought it was absolutely beautiful and they loved it.
So I left the tiny star with them and returned to the here and now, extremely moved and quite shaken up by the whole experience which had taken no more than a minute at the most in "real time" and over which I had had very little control.
It set me to thinking about many things.
Firstly, how it seems that I was shown there that you cannot just chuck light and love at people who may not have any way of dealing or processing this kind of energy. It is a startling thought but one that actually tallies well with my previous experiences on the subject. Like, for example, at one hypnotherapy training I attended there was a lady who really responded very badly to being told to imagine a white healing light. At the time, I thought her response was due to perhaps a bad experience for real in the presence of a bright light, such as in an operating theatre, police interrogation or in the dentist's chair. I have also observed on numerous occasions that *real* love energy is not a mushy, fluffy pink thing but indeed, a force of such power that it would rush through your mind and body like a storm and sandblast your self from your self.
Further, recently I had a bad experience personally at an abysmal seminar, where the workshop leader told us that coloured "lasers were coming from the stars and piercing our chakras."
Eeeeow!!! An appalling sensation on every level, viscerally painful and undoubtedly, not a good thing for anyone's energy system at all.
Be careful with that light ...
I guess there's so much in the way of entrainment that light=good and that you can't ever have enough of it, I had never really consciously considered before that at the energetic level, structures need to exist that can handle, channel, process such incoming energy for it to be beneficial to the intended recipient.
Those of us and those parts of us who really do "reside in forever night" most certainly cannot handle any of it.
The Star Seed is a beautiful thing. It's an ecological thing, a small something that doesn't hurt, confuse or destroy but that very respectfully and mindful of the *existing conditions* offers a starting point to begin to re-awaken and to stimulate the receiving structures of the energy exchange systems.
It might be a very useful thing too. Many more of us than believe it do suffer from a "fear of love". It is interesting to muse that this might once again turn out to be not evil unconscious self sabotage at all, but an essential protective device to stop us from burning up like vampires under the noonday sun.
In this sense, I would offer you a Star Seed or many, to take to parts of you that might require such a thing, and to keep around if you should meet another who would be glad of one, too.
Silvia Hartmann, June 2001