Stop creating realities that hurt you - realise that!

Realise That

by Silvia Hartmann

There are certain words that are just amazing.

One of the most fascinating amongst them all as far as the English language is concerned is the verb "to realise".

Now I don't mean the kind of realisation where you take a tract of land you own and you realise its inherent monetary value by putting it up for sale and running off with a large sack of gold; the verb and its meaning and usage which concerns us today is the realisations that people have, or they think they have, what that is, what that means, and what happens when we stop it and do something else instead.

One of the best tips for understanding language and how it backfires onto our thoughts, feelings, states of being and then on our decisions and behaviours which result from all of that was as follows.

"Don't worry too much about the complexities of NLP languaging. Just make sure that every time you even want to think, say or hear the word "realise", you substitute it immediately with "decide" instead."

Ever since I heard that excellent piece of advice, I've marked out in consciousness when that marvellous term "realise" occurs in human expression.

"It was when my husband bought me carnations instead of tulips that day THAT I REALISED HE DOESN'T ACTUALLY LOVE ME."

Don't worry too much about the complexities of languaging. Just make sure that every time you even want to think, say or hear the word "realise", you substitute it immediately with "decide" instead ...

You "realised" that your husband doesn't love you?

Surely, you mean you DECIDED in that moment that your husband doesn't love you?

Or in other words, you MADE A REALITY in that moment to this unfortunate effect?

A reality that was then in all actuality YOUR REAL REALITY from that moment forth?

And how did you like living in that reality you made there?

And what happened next? Did you stay in this "unloving" relationship for the sake of the children or did you divorce soon after?

And did you know that ONE SINGLE WORD can do ALL OF THAT?

That it can turn the world to black, change a spring morning to mid-winter, and put a right angle into your very life line?

Did you know that you had THAT MUCH POWER OVER YOUR OWN REALITY?

If you had known, would you have done that? Made that thought, "realised THAT" in that moment or would you have preferred to realise something else instead, to DECIDE TO REALISE another reality altogether?

These are hard questions, to be sure.

It is not just the lady who threw what might have been a once-in-a-lifetime relationship away in a single thought once it was given the magic form of "to realise".

There is so much, so many occurrences where we have "realised" things about others, about ourselves, about the world - so innocently, so unknowingly and we are STILL carrying the burdens from those moments, each and every one of us.

In my not inconsiderable experience, the act of "realising" some thing is probably the most powerful and awesome "incarnational routing device" I've ever encountered.

Whether it is a small child that "realises" mathematics is way too difficult or that father doesn't care, or a teenager who "realises" that they will never become a rock star, or whether it is a fully grown adult who "realises" that it is too late now to find happiness and everything in between, when we "realise" we create - and we don't even know we're doing it, or that we have the power to do anything as grand as that.

"Realising" is a dangerous, dangerous thing to be doing for any beginner human.

I think the advice that was given to me back then, to simply substitute the word, "I decide" instead should any kind of "realisation" threaten to come upon us was extremely sound.

It's better to be safe than sorry.

But should the time come, after many years of deciding instead of realising, that one might feel ready for such a momentous step forward, we might decide to start realising things again.

We may look upon a sunrise and REALISE that the world is a beautiful place, full of magic and endless abundance, love and energy.

As we do, that world comes into being and it IS OUR WORLD from that moment forth - the reality has been evoked, all of that has been MADE REAL in the moment of realisation.

For those amongst us who are nervous of such a drastic step, and I applaud safety first in all things as a form of wisdom, indeed, we can just stay with "I decide that the world is a beautiful place."

Why not?

"I decide" retains the power of decision within the self; "realisation" gets away from you and becomes a thing in its own right and we live inside of it.

People's lives are long and funny things. You never know. There may be a use yet for an act of realisation that will serve you and your purposes most profoundly.

I'd say, one human to another, "Keep that big gun in your back pocket. Don't use it unless you absolutely have to. Stick with "I decide" and the ability to change your mind along the way and decide something else should that be of more use to you. It's simply safer all around."

Still, it is a fact that people have so much power to create reality, and over their own lives. If we keep at it, keep our eyes and ears wide open and play it safe for now, perhaps the time will come when we can realise that.

Silvia Hartmann

April 2006