During the prosperity session, I told the group to go see their spirit guide and sit down with them by a nice camp fire or something, and explain to them what a credit card is, how it differs from a debit card, what a cheque is, an invoice, a bill, cash, VAT, annual accounts, bank accounts, savings accounts, investments, shares and so forth.
On the grounds that those spirity fellas usually haven't the foggiest what you're actually wanting them to do about or with such things because they don't even know what they are or what you are referring to (or whining about!).
And so, and being critically bored, this time at breakfast, 6 in the morning and the whole hideous day spreading out in front of me like one gigantic slow burning painful fire walk, I remembered that, invited Appollonius of Tyana ("Fed up with Jesus? Allergic to Christanity? Need Spiritual Guidance? Here is your fun filled, power packed, mountain fresh, no strings, no cult alternative: Appollonius Of Tyana!") to sit with me at the breakfast table and asked if he would kindly serve as a spirit guide for the occasion.
He said, "Sure, why not?" and I brought out my green American Express card and started to explain how this was a kind of tablet that allows you to buy things in the market or from vendors, and the money lender pays for the wares, keeps the tally and marks it up with interest that you have to pay back later.
He looked at it with interest and made the comment that there was a lot of negative energy around it, and I said, "Yes there most certainly is!"
"That's from the pain of leg breaking, seeing your old parents die in the street and the heartache of losing your wife for the whoring, and your children to slavery, I presume," he said understandingly.
I was like, "What?" and he said, "When you find you can't pay it back, I mean. What the money lender does to you. Takes your wifes and whores her out, breaks your legs, sells your children into slavery and takes your home and possessions away and makes beggars out of your aged parents."
I explained to him that actually, with our money lenders that doesn't happen.
"They don't break legs, they don't whore the wife out and they leave your children alone. They don't even take your house if you play your cards right."
Appollonius was totally astonished and dumfounded.
"But ... what *do* they do?!"
"Ahm, well, you sort of go to the Citizens Advice bureau and then, ahm, well, there is some sort of court thing, and you don't have to pay it back. The debt gets wiped."
"Ah!" exclaims Appollonius, "Now I understand! You go to court, get convicted of felony theft and they take you away for forced labour for 25 years or so until you've paid off the debt and all the interest, hard labour in prison or sailing you off to a foreign colony where you have to slave in the mines or on the fields under the whips of the guards!"
"No, no, they don't take you away. Nothing gets taken away. No whips, no guards. You just tell them you can't pay and then they sort of go away."
"But," Appollonius spluttered, "how can this be? Then why is this a problem? Why is anyone afraid of them, and why would anyone ever pay them back?!"
I thought about it and all I could come up with was to say lamely, "I guess they are afraid to lose face and be known as a bankrupt."
Appollonius looked at me with both eyebrows raised and said, "Clearly, your system makes no sense, and you are truly deluded to live in such fear when nothing happens to you that has any meaning or severity."
I had to agree.
I asked him, "Is there anything you can do for me to help me with my delusions? To end them, to have more sense and also to be able to see through more of these weird delusions in future, rather than get caught inside of them?"
"Oh yes," he said happily and made a star appear on his fingertip, which he touched to my forehead, above the third eye but beneath the hairline. It tingled through me briefly and then was gone ...
At this point, the waitor turned up in the hard which ended the vision, but I do look forward to meeting with Appollonius for discussing my bank account,and finding out what he might have to say on *that* topic!